Often Not the Same

Ronnie started dating me when I was telling people that I was transgender but still living as a man. Ronnie walked with me, slept with me, and slept with me through my transition. She celebrated me becoming myself. She kept nudging me towards living my truth until it was something I did 24 hours a day without batting an eye.
Unfortunately, as my body changed, so did Ronnie’s attraction to me.

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I took a DNA test… turns out I’m 100% a Type A Personality that makes New Year’s Resolutions. Last year, I kept things simple. My only goal was to begin transitioning. You know… just changing expressed gender from Male to Female. Simple.
This year, I made my resolutions more by gut feel than anything else.

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I kept texting Cathy messages for two weeks without a reply. On a hunch, I went over to her Facebook page and saw a message from her brother on her wall. He was expressing his gratitude for all of the sympathies and support Cathy’s friends had given him. My heart was replaced by a heavy emptiness as I realized that Cathy had killed herself.

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A Normal Member

…when I started applying for promotions, I made the decision to do the entire process en femme. I wanted my potential bosses to see me and treat me as I am from day one. …

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A Better Version

Today is an important anniversary for me. Three years ago I gave away all of the alcohol in my home.

I had been out of a self-admitted stay in a Psychiatric Hospital for four days and I had gotten slurring-my-words-drunk twice in those four days.

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I Choose to Trust

My feelings for Ronnie had grown exponentially over the months. I threw caution to the wind, embraced the moment, and told her, “You know, I’d marry you if you asked me.” I felt my face flush with emotion as I spoke my truth.

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The Hair I’m Home In

My blue and purple wigs felt like a middle finger… a dare to anyone to challenge my baldness.
It’s like I was saying “Yeah, it’s a wig. Yeah, its blue. If you can’t handle me being bald, then fuck off.”
But, if you told me I could instantly change one thing about my body, it would be my baldness. I still don’t like it.

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So, you have questions.

People want to ask me and are simultaneously scared to ask me about the changes I’m going through right now. Any time me being transgender comes up, I tell people a quote from Kate Bornstein, “An honest question never hurt me. It’s people’s opinions that hurt.” I then let them ask me whatever they want.

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We have a fetish in The West with stories having a lesson or a moral. A story can’t just be a story. For some strange reason, we have a compulsion to have something to apply or learn. I blame Ancient Greece for this weird obsession.

Fine. You want to know what I’ve learned over the last few years?


I’m Done Limiting

I guess I’ve just hit the point at which hiding takes more energy than being myself. What that means, for me, is that I’m transitioning. It’s a huge step that I’ve been wrestling with for two years. All of my excuses to not transition have fallen away.

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