Saying Yes More

Age creeps up on you. One day you’re 44 and people think you’re 34 because of the baby face you hated in high school. Then you notice those little jowel things on the side of your jawline. Then the wrinkles on the side of your eyes and mouth appear. There’s also the non-elastic skin on your elbow that just flaps there like a turkey’s neck when your arm is straight.

And gravity. Don’t get me started on gravity. My pooch hangs a little lower on my belly than it did last year. My butt is sliding down my ass. When I have shitty sleep, it even feels like my face is sliding down my skull.

People thought I was younger than my girlfriend fiancé when we started dating. I don’t hear that much now. These last two years have really kicked my ass… I feel like I’m leaving the “milf” category of porn and drifting into “mature” kicking and screaming.

Life isn’t fair. I tell my sons that all the time. The sooner you accept that fact, the happier you will be. I need to take a dose of my own medicine because I’m trying to make peace with the fact that I’m going to be a mature woman only a few years after getting the body of a woman. I’ve wanted to feel pretty my entire life and, not long after feeling that way for the first time in my life, I feel like I’m losing it.

Life isn’t fair.

So, I’ve started saying “yes” more when it comes to my attractiveness. I’m wearing the short shorts and showing off my racing stripes, aka stretch marks. I’m rocking the low cut dresses with a push-up bra. I’m applying the smoky eyeshadow and the bright pink lipstick. I’m pulling on the fishnets and wearing them with my Converse. I’m taking pictures of myself half-naked with wine and posting my reviews on Instagram. (Side note, I love the idea that some people might show up to ogle my body but, if they pay attention to what I write, then they’ll learn quite a bit about wine.)

Unlike most women, I wasn’t raised to be ashamed of my body. It took a few years but I’ve gotten rid of Christianity’s negative views on sexuality, too. I’m proud as fuck of what I have. My philosophy is to let the people admire what I’ve got while I’ve got it. I had a staring contest earlier this week with an older gentleman that didn’t approve of my off-the-shoulder sweater… but he looked away first. Fuck that guy and fuck his judgment. I’m gonna wear the sweater, my dude. Either enjoy the view or leave me alone. I’m gonna carpe this diem as much as I can.

Life isn’t fair… but it is a really fun ride if you do it right… and I’m having a goddamn blast with this body while I can.

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