I Guess You Get Blog Posts

…Behind the scenes I was doing my usual swooning. I kept telling myself “just play it cool, bitch” when we were messaging and then I would immediately go back to not playing it cool when the messaging timer was done and A wasn’t aware… I just realized that this must be what it’s like for straight women when they talk to dudes…

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I Fell Off of the Bike

At one point I said something in French and K said, “Ooooo. Don’t do that again or else” and she smiled and covered her face. I told her that I’d changed my mind about what I was willing to do that night and spoke some more French to her. Sometimes it pays to be Cajun.

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I was on the ride alone

J threw out this really kinky scenario and I was like “Yes, please, but –hey– how about I get a hotel booked first.” Then, as I was looking at hotels on my laptop, she kept going down this intense sexual rabbit hole on my phone that got weirder and weirder until I finally stopped her because I felt totally uncomfortable.

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More Than Enough

… One of my coworkers in his 20s said that Snapchat is where matches on dating apps go to die so I was SUPER hesitant to give her my info… plus I wasn’t wearing any makeup and the last thing on earth I wanted to do was send her pics. However, I gave her my handle and my app blew up with her photos. I was stunned at how good looking she was. Like, I actually got nervous. …

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Rooting for Love

I took stock of my life. Why was I crying so much? Why did I feel so much lonelier? Granted, no one has touched me in almost a month as of writing this but I realized that the dating app wasn’t adding value to my life. If anything it was making me more miserable. My loneliness was amplified with each ghosting and unmatching.

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It’s OK to Laugh

Hi. It’s me, you’re friendly neighborhood transgender grocery store worker. Although it seems that I’m a hero now. I mean I knew I was “courageous” because people kept telling me I was so brave for being a transwoman… but being a hero is some next level shit I didn’t know I was capable of.

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Often Not the Same

Ronnie started dating me when I was telling people that I was transgender but still living as a man. Ronnie walked with me, slept with me, and slept with me through my transition. She celebrated me becoming myself. She kept nudging me towards living my truth until it was something I did 24 hours a day without batting an eye.
Unfortunately, as my body changed, so did Ronnie’s attraction to me.

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Resolutions

I took a DNA test… turns out I’m 100% a Type A Personality that makes New Year’s Resolutions. Last year, I kept things simple. My only goal was to begin transitioning. You know… just changing expressed gender from Male to Female. Simple.
This year, I made my resolutions more by gut feel than anything else.

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Cathy

I kept texting Cathy messages for two weeks without a reply. On a hunch, I went over to her Facebook page and saw a message from her brother on her wall. He was expressing his gratitude for all of the sympathies and support Cathy’s friends had given him. My heart was replaced by a heavy emptiness as I realized that Cathy had killed herself.

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